It was a lazy summer lightning bug kind of night. The kind where you look out into the darkness and see the sparkle of these mysterious insects all around you and you almost want to weep at the beauty of it all. I knew the moment I walked outside and the beautiful sunlight was setting behind our two towering trees in the backyard. These trees stood witness to the sun every night, regardless of whether I paused from my busy life and ever took notice. But tonight it was as if an invisible hand pushed me out the front door, no shoes on, and disheveled hair, but it said to me in a sweet kind whisper. Beloved, I want you outside tonight.
I stepped onto the hard pavement of our weathered driveway, slowly, feeling the painful rocks beneath each foot. I was keenly aware of all my heightened sensations. The very colors in the sky held my gaze and my breath. I could feel the wind moving the leaves in the trees and caressing me as it tenderly brushed my hair from my shoulder to my back. God, ever the romantic made the grass a soft, cool haven for my feet after traversing the driveway. It reminded me of the scene in C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce where the character has just entered heaven and the very grass itself is too much of a burden to walk on, because the sensations are so heightened, so real, so beautiful that the people are as phantoms in comparison.
Lewis writes of Heaven, “It was the light, the grass, the trees that were different; made of some different substance, so much solider than things in our country that men were ghosts by comparison… Walking proved difficult. The grass, hard as diamonds to my unsubstantial feet, made me feel as if I were walking on a wrinkled rock.”
C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce
This was one of those nights where everything we think is so real becomes like a phantom and the beauty that surrounds is so heavy, so tangible, it is almost painful. It’s the same knot in our chests and twists in our stomachs that we feel falling in love and here it was again. A night when the beauty in the sky, and the cool Earth was electric and the energy of the Earth touches every fiber of your being.
It is the nights you abandon all bedtime routines, tell your kids to pile in the car because we are heading to the local park to play with abandon until past sunset. “Tonight kids, we will catch lightning bugs. Tonight we will leave our shoes by the park fence and feel the soft Earth beneath our feet. Tonight we will watch the street lamps come on and point out constellations in the sky and yes baby girl, climb the highest pole you can find and feel the wind brushing through your beautiful hair. This kids. THIS. This is your soul delighting in creation. Do you feel the sweet abandon pumping your legs high on the swings? Do you feel the belly laughs as mommy spins you around and tickles you? The dizzy whirl that makes you fall over and feel alive at the same time? Babies, this is a love letter from God, and we will not miss it. Not for routines, not for time ticking away, not for screens or excuses. Child, step outside tonight, feel the warm embrace of the creator and deep in your heart remember that your mama loved lazy summer lightning bug nights.
