Here I am trying to write an excerpt about contentment and my toddler has hopped up from her bed for the fifth time. I put her down for nap about twenty minutes ago and this is supposed to be “mommy time.” I let a thought of anger creep in, “this is the one time a day where I can get some alone time. Why is she doing this to me?” This incident was also proceeded by a fussy baby that needed to constantly nurse for the last hour and had finally fallen asleep. This was my moment, the place where everyone should be sleeping in unison and mommy can finally have some “me time.” My whole body tenses at the sound of her footfalls once again hitting the floor. Who knew a two year old’s feet could cause such a shock? My bedroom door cracks open and she says “need my baby mama?” This is not the first object she has requested. First it was a snuggly, then it was putting up some Legos she found on her floor, now it’s her baby doll. Once again this tired mama body is up and tucking her into bed all while breathing out “Lord give me strength.”
I could argue that no one prays more than a tired mama trying to get her kids down at naptime. “God, could you just make those tiny eyes close?”
In Jesus Name, Amen
When I was a sophomore in high school, I found faith in God. With all that new zeal and fiery belief, it made sense that I wanted to go into mission work. I declared this to my youth group and was ready for God to direct my path to any country of his choosing. I was willing to give it all up and put myself in the throes of danger for God. But what my young heart didn’t realize is how my passion was not enough and there was a great refining of my heart that remained. I have not given up completely on the mission field, but a failed first marriage and co-parenting has me glued to my current soil for now. During all this time God has provided a more subtle fiery furnace to refine my heart.
The everyday repetitive monotony of motherhood and housework is the fiery furnace that reveals my impatience, anger and selfishness all in one go.
Sometimes we want God to call us to these huge noble tasks, but the testing ground is right here, right now. Look at the “on purpose” spot you are sitting in while you read this. It is not coincidence, let God open your eyes, to the testing of your faith in front of you. It could be in your marriage, your children, your home, or your job. I’m not saying God won’t call you or me to something more drastic, but until we see the day-to-day as the testing ground to grow, we won’t be ready for the next thing he calls us to. Think about this with trembling. He is the God of grace, forgiveness and a thousand chances. In his grace he teaches us that if we have messed up today, we can change. God has given us 1,000 dirty dishes to find contentment, 1,000 loads of laundry to find diligence, 1,000 times to sweep the floor and pick up toys to find perseverance, and in my case, 1,000 times to walk my child back to bed and cultivate patience. Ask for God’s help today because whether you realize it or not, your home is a battleground, a fire that can burn away the impurities of the heart, if only we let it.
“… for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4: 11-13 (New International Version)
